Receive the Grace to Grieve

There are things in this life that cut so jagged and deep. Grief is legitimate but inconvenient, uncomfortable, and vulnerable, it feels weak, and out of control. The temptation to cope, to push through and be okay, is so strong, and so very insufficient.

Is it possible that we don't need to hurry up and be okay, so that we can get back to work, and life, and all the expectations, sucking it up with a nod and a smile?

Jesus gets down low, to sit with us, heart to heart, head to head, meeting us in all the loss. The loss of innocence, the loss of outpouring, the loss of giving ourselves away. Even in our imperfect motives and our naive understanding... He longs to hold us close, to trust Him with grieving what could have been, would have been, what we wanted it all to be. Letting Him grieve with us, recognizing that we are very much, not alone in this shattered place. That His heart aches with ours, that He reaches out to us with His whole self, committed to comforting and restoring us, until we really are okay again... as long as it takes.

God is right here. We don't have to rush past this place, so that the world thinks well of us. In this place of grieving all that was lost, all that it cost, all that is no more, grieving the ways we felt abandoned and alone, left to make sense of what should not have been... to put the shattered pieces back together… He meets us on the floor, takes our hands from the rubble, and draws us in to lean heavy on his tender strength, reassuring us that we don't have to hurry up and figure out how to get back up. We can just sit here with Him.

Allowing grief... calling it what it is, being honest with ourselves, and as raw as we can be with Him - this intimacy is safe. He grieves too, with groans too deep for words. And yet, all the while, His grief does not lack hope, confidence, and commitment to restore all that was stolen, and the many things that got swallowed up. That grave, is not the end, it's not the final word, there is light on the horizon, there is goodness and mercy following after us...

And even still, we can linger right here with Him, the One who holds the world in His hands, the One who sustains every living thing, is the One that holds us close to His mercy-filled heart, in our weakness, our vulnerability, our pain, our confusion.

In these dark nights, the pain does come, but our Perfect Father is there with us. He could not be more relentless in His attentiveness and care. He poured out his life, His heart, His blood, so that nothing could stop Him from rushing in, restoring and redeeming all the years and all the loss.

Thank you Father, that you hold us close to your tender faithful strong heart, inviting us into refuge, inviting us to bring every bit of us, to You, so that You can make us even more whole, than we were before.

~ Penned by Kristy Ziolkowski