Dear Leader, Failure is Your Friend

Experiencing Failure Can Help You Embrace Humility

I wonder what the Apostle Peter’s letters would have been like had he written them before Good Friday.

Pompous?

Condescending?

Inflated?

If you’re a leader, you may feel like your success, competence, and achievements are your best assets. You may even believe that without a solid set of receipts, people won’t trust your leadership.

That could be true. Indeed. Certain folk desire divine-like leaders. But that is a crushing weight that you cannot bear and an expectation you cannot live up to.

Do you feel that? Maybe from others. Probably from yourself.

Most of us would rather be James Bond than Maxwell Smart. But as the old saying goes, a failure that makes you humble is better than a success that makes you prideful.

Would you love to have the freedom to fail without it crushing you? Wouldn’t it be amazing to have the freedom to succeed without it validating you?

If you’re trapped under this weight – I have good news for you. I can tell you from the other side of this mirage, there is beauty, hope, joy, freedom, and rest.

Want to see what I mean? Let’s dive in.

Your Weakness isn’t a Threat. Overconfidence is.

Why did Peter deny knowing Jesus three times? Popular opinion is that he was a coward.

I disagree.

Peter was on the back end of an all-nighter. He celebrated the Passover with Jesus and the other disciples. That would have been an enormous meal with a good bit of wine.

I’m no farmer, but if I’m not mistaken, roosters typically crow around the crack of dawn. Peter was running on no sleep, lots of carbs, and a bit of wine.

He had to be tired. That made him vulnerable. Our weaknesses can be exploited when we’re vulnerable. However, it’s even more likely that our overestimation of our strengths will be exploited.

Before Peter denied knowing Jesus, didn’t he say that he would die for him? And that, even if no one else would step up? When Jesus was arrested, the Gospel of John says that Peter took a swing at a soldier, cutting off his ear.

Peter was no coward. He was courageous. And he had too much confidence in his own ability. When Jesus told him he would deny even knowing Jesus, Peter told Jesus that He was wrong.

Peter had more confidence in his courage than in Jesus’ words.

Friend, let this be instructive to us.

Humility Will Find You

It’s no wonder that Peter himself quoted the OT, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

He had learned the lesson the hard way. So did I.

My life forever changed when the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “Write down everything you think you’re right about.”

I did.

By the time I got to number 18 or so, I just dropped my pen. It was as if lightning flashed in my soul, and I could see what the darkness had covered. Something had gone horribly wrong. No person could possibly be this “correct.”

This moment meant far more than a shrug. It wasn’t like I missed an exit or picked the wrong pizza joint for dinner.

No.

I led people – under my understanding of the authority of God’s Word – to tightly hold theological positions and ministry philosophies that I was now questioning.

This wasn’t easy for anyone. It still has ramifications in my life. That transformational word from God came to me in 2021. In 2025, my teenage son said he wasn't sure he could trust my spiritual leadership because I had been wrong before. How could he have confidence that I am not wrong now?

The truth is – he can’t. I might be wrong. About many things. At the very least, I don’t see the full picture. There are depths and nuances to virtually any topic that I do not and cannot fully understand.

I thank God for this gift.

It’s OK to be Wrong

Louis Penny’s fictional character, Chief Inspector Gamache, says that everyone should write on the back of the hand that they shoot or write with, “I might be wrong.”

Golly! Do you know how wildly freeing this is? I put it on the back of my computer. See?

This changes everything for the better. Who would you rather follow? The Peter who thought he was so much better than everyone else that he would never sink to the sinful level of other disciples – or the one who had the maturity to say, “God gives grace to the humble”?

Right?!!?

The job of a leader, especially in Jesus’ church, is to help people follow Jesus. Not us. Not our church or organization. Just Jesus. And He will absolutely, 110%, lead people in ways you would never approve of.

Take Peter as an example. Again.

If you were Jesus, how would you have handled this moment? I probably would have been WAY more specific and FAR less esoteric than to say, “Satan asked to sift you like wheat…”

Since Jesus was and is in charge, then we can be sure He will lead us, our churches, and the individuals within it, in ways that we wouldn’t.

If you Face the Music of Your Failure, the Bitterness will Turn Sweet

Don’t be afraid to stand in the presence of God naked and ashamed. Jesus is kind. Gentle. We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness. He knows how to deal tenderly with our wounds.

You may have to look at your people, position papers, children, and others, and say – I was wrong. You may need to look at God and do the same.

It can be costly.

But I promise you, the pain will only be that of shedding the façade of your false self. The false self, the fleshly impulse, to always be only right. To be admired. To be followed. Trusted. Respected. Adored.

All of those suffocating, strangling, confusing motives can be crucified with Christ.

This freedom will empower you not to treat those you may have hurt flippantly. You can sincerely apologize, giving them the dignity of taking their disappointment to Jesus and trusting Him to lead.

Even if that means they need to maintain boundaries with you. You may need to humbly make restitution as far as you’re able and they are willing.

That restitution could be public. But it will almost certainly be personal and private. We all, to varying degrees, in different seasons need to repair trust that we’ve broken in our failures. It’s not easy or pain-free. This gut-level repentance requires supernatural, empowering grace that no human being can muster.

Failure is one of the only things that can posture your heart to receive the sweetest truth: the one who is forgiven much, loves much.

If your failures, whatever they may be, bring you to pour out your tears on Jesus feet – you will hear Him say, “I forgive you, my beloved. Come away with me. Rest. Let your soul be restored in my righteousness. Then, go feed my sheep.”

He will indeed work everything for good. Nothing will be wasted. Not even your mistakes.

Resurrection Power to Lead in Humility

When Jesus restored Peter to a position of leadership, he was a different person. Peter went on to heal people in Jesus’ Name – and quickly defer the credit to Jesus and away from himself.

And that, my friend, didn’t decrease his joy, power, or influence. It increased it all. The same opportunity exists for you and me.

Jesus hung on the cross to absorb all our failures. God raised Him from the dead so we can walk in the confidence of His victory on our behalf.

If the cross can reconcile us to God, then it can also redeem our mess.

It can also produce a posture in us that admits, “I might be wrong.” With the best of our ability, we can say that we believe Jesus is leading us to do this or that for a season.

But that may change in the next one.

He might be leading other churches or people to do things very differently from us. We cheer that on!

The Litmus Test of Healthy Leadership

If we might be wrong, then how can we lead with any legitimate confidence? Does this mean that it’s just a free-for-all? Back to the days of the Judges, where everyone should just do what’s right in their own eyes?

I believe God gives us a different measuring stick. A better one.

The fruit of the Spirit.

We can know if we’re at least on the right track if the fruit that’s being produced in and around us smells like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.

If we and others are growing in love for God, if our awe and wonder in Him is increasing – then it’s safe to say we’re doing something “right.”

When people become more curious about other people’s stories, more compassionate about other people’s struggles, more generous with their time, resources, and money – without even realizing that’s what’s happening in them – then we’re onto something.

It’s too easy to feel good about how much you give or sacrifice. In my experience, that never produced gentleness or patience.

See what I mean?

But when the good Lord returns the joy of our salvation, we become less concerned about upholding our egos. We just want to be close to God’s heart and don’t care who sees or what it costs.

Leader – people will follow a contrite heart that is chasing after God’s. And that has the potential to create a culture where people love Jesus freely because they experience that they are loved by Him fully.

And when the presence of God is pursued and adored, then God is free to move in power.

Failing Forward and Falling in Love

Admitting you’re wrong, saying sorry, and asking for forgiveness will only cost you your pride. Your pride will only cost you your soul.

Apparently, hanging onto our pride is like picking a fight with God.

Sooooooo…..

Go ahead and admit you’re wrong. It will make you a better leader. More importantly, it just might save your soul. Thankfully, God’s in the business of soul saving.

He’s even got a habit of throwing parties for people who return, even when, especially when they don’t deserve it. Let’s not miss out!

This Article Originally Appeared on Pete Z’s Substack: Surrendered Scribbles